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Sadly no matter how hard you try, you can`t mail a fart. Too bad though, because this would actually make paying Bills a lot more fun.
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
I`m so unlucky with women? I visited a massage parlour the other day..and they told me it was "self - service"
It’s funny that old people need handicap parking spots but they always manage to pick up a penny off the ground.
Girls probably spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.
People should be loved. Things should be used. Unfortunately, we have it backwards
The most difficult part about taking a personality test is deciding which personality should take it.
about love
Netflix is a lot like facebook in the way I just waste time scrolling and scoffing at things.
My dog acts like her entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
I wish conversations were like user agreements, where I could skip to the end and just agree.
My closet is like 15 shirts I plan to fit into again and 1 shirt I wear every day.
Don`t you hate it when you`re typing something and you`re thinking about something else so then you subconsciously type what you were boobies.
The future was so much cooler in the past.
Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?