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The naughty me makes the nice me giggle.
is on a Mission. The magic leprechaun told me to follow the pink racehorse to the rainbow where the orange elephant is holding my skittles hostage
Just realized the laundry detergent has been in the refrigerator for 3 days, in case you`re looking for a business manager.
Kids today don`t know what hardship is. When I was younger I sometimes had to wait ALL DAY for MTV to play my favorite video.
They should put Prince on the $20 bill and call it $19.99... It`s "The bill formerly known as a twenty."
The key to successful relationships is not to start any.
Whenever I hear that customer service calls are going to be recorded I do one of my raps because I`m too poor to pay for studio time
I’m not sure why, but to me Cheerios sound like the happiest of all circular shaped cereals.
The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat…It’s watching what other people eat.
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Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend`s head.
I hope common sense is the next cool trend.
Your secrets are safe with me! Odds are, I wasn’t even listening.
I wonder if there`s a margarita somewhere out there thinking about me, too.
BREAKING NEWS: Will Smith sends Miley Cyrus to live with auntie and uncle in Bel Air.