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This debt collector was just so surprised I answered my phone that they stuttered and hung-up lmao!!
The Bible is pretty accurate...Especially when thrown at close range.
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs..... But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
I can`t believe I was late for work tomorrow..
You don’t look like 200 likes in person.
I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
I carry a yoga mat, but it`s only because I get sleepy after lunch
Really close to my perfect target weight. All I need now is one more stomach flu
I live in a madhouse, ruled by a tiny army, that I made myself
Hangovers are nature`s way of grounding you as an adult.
I really would love to see two mimes arguing
I will kill you with kindness even if I have to beat the sh!t out of you.
I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.
drinks well with others.