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Marriage (Possible side effects may include sadness, anger, sudden drop in finances, depression, sexual abstinence, and sobriety)
I got on-line to check the weather...That was 12 years ago.
I`m going to a wedding rehearsal this weekend. Wedding rehearsals are the only time you see someone practice making a mistake.
I`m only 2 girls short of a threesome.
Every day can be palm Sunday if you`re a single guy
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Has marriage been on Mythbusters yet?
Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. Let`s try to leave better kids for our planet.
Maybe America will believe in global warming if we make it a Snapple Fact.
I look so young for my rage.
my mom and I have so much in common..she doesn`t listen and niether do I :p
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s some millionaire walking around who invented the Pool Noodle.
If someone threw a rock and knocked me off my donkey, would I be stoned off my a$$?
The best thing about weed is it teaches you that it`s okay to take 35 minutes to make a sandwich
If Shakespeare is correct and "all the world is a stage" then I seriously would like to be in control of that trap door.