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If the planet is 4 billion plus yrs old. Is 2017 really the correct new year.
It hurts to be in love. Oh wait, I`m sitting on my keys.
All I see on Facebook is penis, orgasm, bang him, bang her, bullwhip, masturbate, porn, tits, and then I read everyone else`s posts..
I have a fold up treadmill under my fold up bed, so by the time I get the treadmill set up, I`m like "That`s enough exercise for today"
You know you`re single when the only calls you get at night are Nature`s.
Some days there just isn`t enough give-a-damn.
iPhone 6: For people who don`t mind holding an iPad up to their ear.
When I`m in a good mood I act like I`m I`m in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood.
I would like to thank you people for letting me know its Friday every week. Its thoughts like this that keep me on Facebook.
When I have to make a difficult decision in life I think what would grandma do, then I leave home in my nightie & shout at random strangers.
It`s a small world, but I wouldn`t want to paint it.
If a gay guy doesn`t write a book called "Fifty Shades of Haaaaaayyy" I`ll be disappointed.
Pandora has taught me that a lot of the music I love is very similar to music I absolutely hate
I really would love to see two mimes arguing
Iam not as THINK as you DRUNK iam!!