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Contrary to popular belief, it`s actually the fat that makes you look fat. It was never the dress
About to try ordering subway without saying um... Wish me luck!
If you use karate instead of a knife your wife won`t ask you to cut the vegetables anymore
I don`t know where the saying "working like a dog" got started but I`m looking at my dogs daily routine feeling pretty jealous myself.
It`s never too late to follow your dreams. Unless your dream is to be a child actor, in which case yes, it`s too late.
One day you will die, but every other day you won’t. So that’s pretty great, right? ... Inspirational posts are hard.
Marijuana is a type of flower, therefore I am a florist not a drug dealer :p
I plucked my first gray hair today ... Man, that lady was upset.
If any of you ladies want pancakes for breakfast, just come over....you can make them here, because I want some too
I`m switching to Metric. I would weigh a lot less on the Metric scale.
I hate that little line of dirt that I can never get into the dust pan.
I`m not feeling myself today..... Perhaps I should feel someone else.
I usually want to post intelligent and witty comments. But I end up posting stupid and funny ones so my friends can understand them.
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
Why do they call it "Jew-ish"? Are they not Jew enough?