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When you called me a b*tch, did you mean it as an insult or a compliment?
My therapist cries "Why me?" for the full hour.
Girls here`s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex - 1: He does
I wish my personality allowed me to write deep and meaningful statuses sometimes, oh well. Titties!
Ways to get to my heart: 1) food ... that’s pretty much it
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
If you ever need nothing I am here for you.
It`s the little things in life that matter the most... for instance the refrigerator light, helping you to see that last beer way in the back!
Therapy has taught me that it is all your fault.
Whenever I`m feeling down... I try to make sure my nails are clipped.
I swear my toddler yells at me in Vietnamese
M?o?n?, T?u?e?s?, W?e?d?, T?h?u?r?s?, Friday !!!!
If you try to fail but you succeed which have you done?
Some families are like Snickers Bars. Mostly sweet, with a few nuts!
Boyfriend: Why do you watch the Food Network it doesn’t make your cooking any better? Girlfriend: Why do you watch porn?