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"IT`S A BOY" I shouted, tears rolling down my face "I DON`T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!" It was at that moment I chose never to visit Thailand again.
As my mother-in-law and I fight to the death for her son`s love, I sometimes think to myself, "This may be the worst prize ever."
Roses are red, violets are blue. If I had a brick, I`d throw it at you.
Your boyfriend has long hair too. I sometimes have trouble figuring out who the girl is in the relationship.
Automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi
All I heard was, " I swear it`ll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Those who stir the sh!t pot should have to lick the spoon.
#1738 "The fact that people use the wrong "your" and "there" yet spell "Bieber" correctly bothers me."-dd
If you`ve had cats, the singles virus may already be inside you.
If anyone ever steals my identity, I hope they show it a good time. Take it skydiving. We`ve always wanted to go skydiving.
My grocery cart right now says ā Iām getting drunk and doing laundry tonight!ā And also. āI like fruit.ā
Why don`t family members send me money for my birthday anymore? I need it now more than when I was 7
People that use big words, but not in the right context, are just trying to be ambidextrous
"I went to Jared" I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
Cologne - because people shouldn`t have a choice whether or not they want to smell you.