Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The only "B" word you should call a woman is "beautiful"... B!tches love being called beautiful.
If you see anything posted from me that involves something normal or appropriate, it is not me. I believe I`ve been hacked.
Saw a billboard ad for potato chips that proudly claimed "There`s a lot of pride in every bag!" Hmmm...is "pride" another word for "air"?
One of the greatest things about owning a dog is how happy they are to see you even though you just stepped out of the house for 30 seconds.
It`s possible you drank too much if you have to wait until your court appearance to find out what the hell happened that night
DO NOT LIKE THIS… Unless you’re a sexy beast.
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean & people think I’m joking.
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
If history repeats itself, I´m totally getting a dinosaur.
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
I like dating chicks with kids, because fruity snacks
I sometimes check my blocklist to see how my prisoners are doing
My dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach still has room.
My parents never asked me to run away from home, but there were many unexplained one way tickets.
Dr. Oz says having 1/2 hour of sex is equivalent to running 6 miles. I guess I`m going to the gym today.