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The pill is the second best thing women can put in their mouths to prevent pregnancy.
Life is basically trying to meet better people than the ones you currently know.
Finally 21 and now legally able to do things which i have been doing since 15….
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program
People that chew gum and drink alcohol what the f*ck is wrong with you.
Making mirrors look good, since 1972
To the makers of rice cakes; thanks for nothing!
If wookies have a 400 year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca`s third dog.
To find out your dolphin name, lick your finger tips and rub a balloon
So, at this point, should we really still be calling them New Kids on the Block?
A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it`s sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can`t really touch anything.
Nobody talk to me until I`ve Instagrammed my coffee.
There better be strippers & beer at my intervention because there is no way in hell I`m sitting through that sober.
If you’ve been naughty… go to your room. If you want to be naughty… go to mine.
Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?