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I don`t know what everyone`s complaining about. The economy looks great from my parents` basement.
Best thing about being single… -no drama -no fighting -no crying -no feelings -no confusion -no worries -no PROBLEMS!
You’d think “attractive neighbor leaves curtains open” would appear in more real estate listings.
Saw a chameleon today. So I guess it`s safe to say it was a pretty sh!tty chameleon.
I`m so scattered I don`t know whether I found this rope or lost my horse.
Let’s all take a moment and be thankful spiders can’t fly.
Stop complaining about being single on Valentine`s Day. We have bigger problems in this world. Like why McDonald`s doesn`t serve breakfast after 10.30
After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast.
Actions speak louder than passive aggressive Facebook statuses.
If the universe didn`t want me to eat four pop-tarts for breakfast I wouldn`t have four slots on my toaster...
Why can`t insomnia start in the morning.
I like to skip when I`m carrying my flamethrower cause no one ever suspects a skipping girl of starting fires.
I get more cleaning done in the ten minutes before someone comes over than I do in a week.
Of course I`m crazy, but that doesn`t mean I`m wrong
Crazy is not a destination, it is a way of life.