Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just let my mind wander, but it didn’t come back yet.
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings...
I believe in helping the homeless. That`s why every year I buy a new refrigerator and throw away the box.
I`ve been around the block a few times, but then my neighbor realized I was drunk and helped me into my house.
just realised SATURDAY has the word TURD in it
I wish I could just cut out the middleman and have the light honk when it turns green.
Does this couch I’m laying on make me look unmotivated?
Her dad said he`d like to see me make an honest woman out of her. I had to resist the urge to tell him that ship sailed long before me.
Love your neighbor, but don`t get caught...
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then.
I have a dream that one day I won`t have to work on MLK Day.
I just got a piece of mail that says "open immediately" but I`m gonna wait a few minutes.
at this point in life I break my life down into 2 time periods B.N and A.N....Before Netflix and After Netflix
A secret is what you tell everyone not to tell anyone else.
I`m sleeping in tell Friday so ... Happy Tuesday.