Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you realize that there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.
My Bills are so big that I have to call them William now.
Parts of a worm: 1) Worm
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
I`m thinkin` Dodgeball........... but with random people..........who don`t know they are playing.............
I think I could be a farmer. Except for the dirt, waking up early, wearing overalls and planting crops. But I wouldn’t mind driving a tractor around.
Dating should be like buying a car. You should get to talk to the previous owners... SHOW ME THE MANFAX!!
Today, I did it hard, I did it loud, it was wet, and I did it four times in a row. I wish I wasn’t talking about sneezing.
Some people think I`m quiet, others wish I was.
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
Facebook`s list of "suggested friends" is quite literally a list of people I`ve been avoiding my entire life.
Studies show than men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. See, it`s a survival thing.
I am having one of those days where my middle finger answers every question.
Whenever you can`t think of anything to say in therapy just go with, "I`ve been thinking about killing you."
Shaving your head is the "You can`t fire me because i quit" approach to male pattern baldness.