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Two interesting facts for you: 1) Some pine cones look like poop. 2) I`m never kicking anything wearing flip flops again.
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
I put "extremely organized" on my resume and I don`t even remember what folder I saved it in..
Oops is farting in the elevator and thinking it would be silent.
"It`s cold!", "Happy birthday!", "I`m so blessed", "Political rant!"... There, now you don`t have to go to Facebook today. You`re welcome.
If you never set it, you always have the excuse, "I overslept because the alarm didn`t go off."
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
I have over 500 facebook friends, and i want to say that i love you all...except for number 376 ..you`re a real a@@hole!!
I don`t have ADHD. I have ADOLS. Attention deficit..OH LOOK! Skittles!
Scientists have recently discovered that approximately 2% of Earth`s water at any given time is found on Tupperware containers being removed from the dishwasher
i make the other half of the Oreo watch.
You say illegal, I say added to my bucket list.
i wasnt that drunk * "bro, you destroyed my mothers garden while screaming F*CK FARMVILLE!"*
Me and my recliner...we go way back.
Missing my childhood super-powers, when I could sleep on the couch and wake up in bed.