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A wise man once said nothing.
Somehow I thought growing up would involve more than staring at my phone
I`m sick to death of these letters from the City of College Station bullying me to mow my grass! If Walmat can prepare for Christmas 3 mths in advance why can`t I do the same for Easter!!!??
often rambles on and on about this and that seeming to be heading towards a point but really just blabbing about nothing.
You can tell a lot from a woman by her hands. For instance, if they`re placed around your throat she`s probably slightly upset.
Next time you see someone you don`t like, begin conversation with "I see the assassins have failed."
Whenever my son questions my knowledge on any subject, I just remind him that I`m older than the Internet.
My girlfriend told me I`m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman... What a joker!
Don`t feel bad, alot of people don`t have talent either
I just ate 3 whole chickens ... they were hard boiled.
I wish they all could be Jerry Springer girls.
Did you know? If you put your finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Packman!
i wasnt that drunk * "bro, you destroyed my mothers garden while screaming F*CK FARMVILLE!"*
If you can`t tell the difference between delivery and Digiorno then you`re a f***ing idiot.
Oh... the look on the Home Depot associate`s face when I asked him if the pruning shears will cut through bone... priceless.