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It saddens me to say that after tasting this homemade whiskey/nacho cheese ice cream, I’ve found not all dreams are meant to be followed.
If someone hates you for no reason, give that motherf*cker a reason.
If jail isn`t supposed to be fun, why do they get bunk beds?
I know it`s 3 meals a day,,,,,, But how many at night?
Each day is a gift, but some days are socks and underwear
Experience is what you get, when you don`t get what you want
I would just like to personal thank all the people in my life that have caused me so many problems, for making me the as$ I am today!
I think it`s about time Taylor Swift wrote a song called "Maybe I`m the Problem"
Falling out of bed the fun way. Oh wait, there isn`t a fun way....
Sidenote #2: Always have your middle finger ready on standby.
Meaningless statistics are up 17% today
Some people say I`m a dreamer, others say, “If you fall asleep at work again you`re fired"
Your girlfriend is rated E... For Everyone
Facebook where I am surrounded with people but still no one can see me biting my toe nails or picking my nose :-D
My favorite machine at the gym is the one you put change in and snacks come out