Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My ex is living proof as to how stupid I can be.
Admit it, you should be doing something else really important right now but your on Facebook again.
Wish my husband got a check from the NFL for all the refereeing he does from his recliner...
Guys write songs about girls they love. Girls write songs about guys they have broken up with
They`ve got this brand new machine at the gym. I only used it for about an hour because I started to feel sick, but it`s awesome - it`s got Mars Bars, KitKat Chunkys, Cheetos, crisps.... everything!
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the “M” is silent.
they say winning doesnt matter then why they had kept scores
That first kiss in the morning is so special, and the dog enjoys it too.
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food.
Part of me says I can´t keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, "Don´t listen to that guy. He´s drunk."
People who think only God can judge them have obviously never met my mother-in-law.
The corner of my bathtub is also referred to as "The Shampoo Bottle Graveyard"
I kinda like zombies...but can we go ahead & decide whether they can run fast or just walk? ... my apocolypse plans depend on it ... thanks!
Dating Tip: Find a partner with a compatible phone charger.
If someone toilet papered my house that would be great because I`m out of toilet paper.