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Just deserts: When a cashier hands you dollar bills back as change. Hold them up to the light like they do when you pay them.
If you don`t know where you are going, any road will get you there.
I think the next Star Wars movie should go Country! I would be excited to see Garth Vader.........
You know you’re awesome when you know you’re awesome.
You can be like "This is a slippery slope" or you can be like "Weeeeeeee!"
Facebook Stalker! If you just felt a sudden twinge of guilt then yes I`m talking about you.
You call it "Road Rage". I call it "Aggressively maneuvering around a$$holes that don`t know how to f*cking drive."
Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I`m sobering up.
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
The only way I know if I`ve bought enough beer is if my car thinks I have a passenger
I got a new marker today that smells like grapes. Thats why I`ve been so quiet.
Just got back from the car dealership and long story short, I`m now the proud owner of a giant circus tent.
If you can`t handle me at my worst I completely understand, because I can`t either.
Write me your opinions on this extra soft paper and leave it next to my toilet.
I`ve been single for a while and I have to say, it`s going very well. Like... It`s working out. I think I`m the one.