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You can never read a doctor`s prescription, but you can sure read his bill
Two days is not enough time for a weekend.
He turned to her, ran his hand up her thigh, across her belly and down her legs. When he turned back to watch TV, she asked "Why stop?" "I found the remote!" he replied.
Guests are coming over for Thanksgiving... Almost time to booby trap the medicine cabinet with marbles.
Sometimes I think "What would Dexter do"?
I saw a sign at a cafe that said, "shoes must be worn." I was upset, because my shoes were brand new.
Judging from my last 5 relationships I am convinced my heart is trying to kill me
Why do we feel safe under blankets? It`s not like a murderer will come in thinking "I`m gonna ki..- ahh damn! He`s under a blanket
Using Romeo & Juliet to express how in love you are is like using Hamlet to show how close and well adjusted your family life is.
Hey rumor has it, that if you look up from your phone you can see all kinds of pretty colors in the trees this time of year.
When people see ghosts, why aren`t they naked? Do clothes die and become ghosts too?
Okay, enough procrastination. Time for excuses.
Didn`t have to do much to end my last relationship...she first told me that "opposites attract"...then a couple of days later she told me i was handsome, kind, smart, funny and loving...
If the Sahara Desert had a motto it would be "Long time, no sea."
I got my panties all in a bunch ... You know those Wal Mart 10 pack cotton bundles.