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Love your neighbor ... but don`t get caught.
It is totAlly unnecessary to put a PM after 23:00.
HA! If you think I`M crazy you should meet ME!
Of course you look good; I don`t have ugly friends.
The reason i connot lie is because i like big butts.
When my dog sniffs another dog`s poop I can only assume that it`s their equivalent to checking a friend`s facebook page.
Maybelline claims to make eyelashes appear three times longer…..I think they should start making condoms.
All shoes are technically buy one get one free.
Whenever my son questions my knowledge on any subject, I just remind him that I`m older than the Internet.
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry.
I`m great in bed" ~ breakfast
Not sure what my spirit animal is, but I am sure it has rabies
People are so predictable..I bet you`re even reading this status right now.
I might get a job cleaning mirrors,its a job I can see myself doing.
Nice try blocked number, but I don`t even answer my phone when I know who`s calling.