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You`re so dumb you have to get naked to count to 21.
My friend works at the morgue and apparently tonight is open mike night.
Remember that one time the cops pulled you over, then let you go because they had a more interesting call. You are welcome.
really vry funny
If your talking behind my back then guess what? Your in a pretty good position to kiss my a$$!!!!
Attractive Woman: What time is it? Me: Haha. Yeah definitely
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I`m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
Etc... A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
Dear Carly Simon, Yes I am so vain that I do think that song is about me.
I hate when people say, "I gotta get my body right for the summer." ...like, wtf are you going to do about your face???
You might think you`re smart until you try using someone else`s microwave.
Sometimes i wish i was an octopus, so i can slap eight people @ once!
Crayons are a lot like M & M`s, all the colors taste the same.
Wow comma I just realized if I tap the microphone on my keyboard I don`t have to type out my statuses anymore exclamation point
Trying to master the art of eating a powdered donut without looking like I just left Charlie Sheen`s house.