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scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
I might not be a great example, but I´m one hell of a good warning.
Going on a dangerous assignment. If I don`t come back, can someone please tell my girlfriend that I always found her laugh really annoying. Thanks.
If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say,”Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot” ...you`re wasting everybody’s time.
Don`t tell me what to do unless you`re naked.
I bet it’s pretty hard at a mime’s funeral to figure out when the moment of silence is over.
My key to happiness is probably lost somewhere in the junk drawer.
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place to have sex.
High-five a veteran today.
Yes, I talk to myself...Yes, I answer myself and Yes, I argue with myself....and the makeup sex is awesome.
Writing is a great career when people like hearing what you have to say but don`t want to look at you.
You being crazy doesn`t bother me. It`s you being crazier than me...That makes me freakin` jealous.
Dyslexics are teople poo.. :|
My p@nis was in the Guiness Book of Records. Untill the librarian kicked me out
She texted me: "Your adorable.". I replied: "No, you`re adorable." Now she thinks I like her. All I did was point out her typo!