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I`m boycotting Kix cereal because of all that kid testing.
I tried to log in on my ipad. Turns out it was an Etch-a-Sketch and I don`t own an ipad. Also, I`m out of vodka.
I don`t understand no one has excepted my boiling water challenge
My friends most commonly describe me as "who?"
Sign: "No alcohol past this point." Translation: Bet you can`t chug this entire beer, right now.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She is nine-seven now, and we don`t know where they hell she is.
I`ll call it a smartphone the day I yell "Where`s my phone?" and it yells "Down here! In the couch cushions!"
Who wants to do something we will regret in the morning? Anyone?
I`m in my 30`s, but I still feel like I`m in my 20`s until I hang out with people in their 20`s and I`m like, "nope, I`m in my 30`s"
If money can’t buy happiness explain pizza.
Coffee gives me the illusion I`m actually awake
Screw it, just add another blade." -Gillette marketing concepts.
Okay I`m going to workout. Should I post about it now or after I`m done?
Does Holy Crap comes from Holy Cow.?
The problem with sex in the movies is the popcorn usually spills.