Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
America: Where stairs are only used for emergency escape purposes.
Thanks to this huge spider web I just walked into, we can now add the neighbors to the list of people that have seen me naked.
Working from home means I save money on train tickets and pants, but spend more on vodka and pizza.
I hate it when I mean to buy seedless grapes but instead I accidentally get...well you know...Oreos.
I have no problem texting while driving, but I won’t text while going down stairs. That sh!t’s dangerous.
I’m in no shape to exercise.
So far, I`ve had exactly "call my ex" number of beers tonight!!!
Breaking news: Newt saw his shadow. Six more weeks of campaigning and attack ads.
Internet went down so I had to spend time with my family. They seem like good people.
I`ve already had two beers which automatically means my day is already better than yours.
I would like to learn one of those clicking languages from Africa because I get the feeling my knees are trying to tell me something.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
Thanks to Netflix I can tell my doctor I`ve done a lot of "marathons"
COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO!!!!
This bottle of beer is not only delicious,,,, It also contains almost 10% of my daily requirement of beer...