Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I like to play fetch with my cat....which, you know, is just me throwing stuff,,, followed by disappointment.
WARNING. Content on my Facebook page may offend. But I don`t f*cking care
The final stage of adulthood is when you start saying, "Oooh, that breeze feels nice."
Whoever invented self checkout greatly overestimated the general intelligence of the human race.
I avoid online dating sites because they match you up with people who share your interests. I don`t want to go out with a weirdo.
I think the golden rule for men should be, don’t say anything to a woman at work that you wouldn’t want another man to say to you in prison.
I`m reading a book on anti-gravity. It is impossible to put down.
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I’m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
is in his own little world but it´s okay they know me here.
Just one more drink and then I`m outta here" is one of my favorite lies.
Once a month, women go completely crazy for about thirty days.
I’m not high maintenance, but rather precious cargo with lavish instruction for upkeep.
You know who your true friends are when they call you at 3AM just to tell you they love you and that their drunk...
When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse 1st. And that pretty much tells you everything you need to know about marriage.
Fun Prank: Put $1000 in an envelope and mail it to me.