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The roof of my mouth just healed from that Hot Pocket I had in 2003.
I hate it when I don`t forward a chain letter and I die the next day.
My life has a great cast, but I can’t figure out the plot.
If it`s really the thought that counts, we`re ALL screwed. LOL ;)
Maybe it`s inappropriate for the first date but if there`s a maze on the menu I`m asking for crayons.
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.
Putting your finger on someone`s lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word." is super-romantic. But the cop didn`t think so.
Honestly, Officer, I wouldn`t have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me
Covers on, too hot. Covers off, too cold. One foot out would prolly be ok, but I don’t wanna be dragged from bed paranormal activity style.
I really think there should be a separate driving lane for those of us running solely on caffeine and rage.
I`ve been told I`m doing exceedingly well in my exaggeration therapy class, I think it`s because I`ve been giving it 180 percent.
The Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
The nice thing about living in the southern states is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense here.
Guess it`s time to get to the part of the day I hate... the part which requires pants.
Next time you take your dog for a walk, dress like a cop & pretend to be searching the neighborhood for drugs.