Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is a complete idiot.
Life lesson: you never have to feel ashamed of anything you buy as long as you buy a birthday card at the same time
Clearly the people that design refrigerators don`t know me if they think one tiny cheese drawer and two giant vegetable drawers is the way to go.
I have no words to describe this day. I do however have a number of obscene gestures that would work.
I love Halloween because it`s the only night of the year I may end up getting drunk with Batman and going home with a cheerleader.
I can tell you nice things but they`ll all be about me.
I take comfort in the fact that my neighbour will probably die before me. I`ll be at his funeral, leafblowing through the entire ceremony.
Honestly, my biggest fear about becoming a zombie in the apocalypse is all the walking.
I wanna say something. I´m gonna put it out there. If u like it, u can take it, if you don´t, send it back. "I want to be on you"
Remeber that time we came to work and we were excited? Me neither.
A psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
If I`m guilty of anything, it`s loving too much. And several outstanding speeding tickets. But mostly loving too much.
God knew that there would be times that a single middle finger wouldn`t be enough.
The text message is the new greeting card, but without any hope that there will be money inside.
Nobody talk to me until I`ve Instagrammed my coffee.