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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Let`s sleep in until it`s time to go to bed again
So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
I hope Karma smacks some people before I do.
My boss told me to have a good day so I went home.
I`d watch NASCAR if Hot Wheels designed the tracks.
I don`t have ADHD. I have ADOLS. Attention deficit..OH LOOK! Skittles!
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn`t concentrate.
I honestly don’t care if you think I’m crazy. You’re just a figment of my imagination anyway.
The songs I like always come on when I’m supposed to be getting out of my car.
The saddest thing about St. Patrick`s Day is taking down all my Christmas decorations.
Went to a nudest camp once and all I could think was.. these are the people you see dressed in Wal-Mart that you don`t want to see naked.
Ahhh, the 4th of July. The day where trips to hospital start with the words "Hold my beer and watch this!"
Maybe I`m not stalking you, maybe I just like your schedule
Health care in this country is a disgrace. My doctor said run 3 miles a day for a month. I`m now completely lost & 90 miles away from home.
If you want to go running with me, you`d better be prepared to walk a lot.