Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
On the bright side, I`m relieved we live in a society where we acknowledge that the people who make sandwiches are artists.
There is a special place in hell for people who are not ready to order when it`s their turn.
I thought I was a bit hardcore until I saw this guy sucking on a soy sauce packet like an Otter Pop.
The key to successful relationships is not to start any.
List of things I’ve accomplished today: 1. Accomplishments List
Studies show that 99% of Dans are not "the man."
Can everyone come to my funeral in FBI outfits, stand at the back & not say a word to my parents so they think I lived a cool double life.
Sea levels aren’t rising due to global warming. They are rising due to the increase in obesity. The continents are actually sinking…
Was late to my first Fight Club last night so missed the intro rules. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I`d highly recommend Fight Club.
Wife: Hi honey, did you miss me? Husband: With every bullet so far...
The first thing I do when I get a telemarketer call is say "Let`s go off script. What are you wearing?"
I`m just saying it might be a good idea for Liam Neeson`s to take his family members to the vet and get them microchipped.
Depending on the boob, the Bra is either the best or worst invention ever.
I just put Santa hats on all my Halloween decorations.
if drinking destroys your memory .... what does drinking do ?