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Roses are red Your thong is pink Cover that up You`re not as hot as you think.
Facebook: Proving that just because you have an opinion doesn`t mean you should share it.
Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
Doctor told me I only have 6 months to live, maybe 12 if I get enough likes on Facebook.
Drunk is when you feel sophisticated but can’t pronounce it.
"We have smaller, secret pants that we wear under our normal pants..." - me explaining underwear to aliens.
Remember when there was more important crap to do besides Facebook all day? Me neither.
I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.
My boss calls it a cubicle. I call it a happiness deprivation chamber.
This girl next to me in class has a piece of tape over her laptop webcam. This can only mean she’s made some serious mistakes in her past…
How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?
"Cannot connect to network. Reset your wireless router." "Umm, okay, but what if my router is in my neighbour`s house? Should I call him?"
the `real` me doesnt do facebook
Not now, I`m busy bringing shame to my family on the internet.
I really hate it when I have to watch the same channel for 2 days because the remote fell behind the couch.