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one of the Olsen twins got married earlier today! when the fiance was asked "which one???" he replied "who cares???"
Forgot to make resolutions? Just write out everything you did New Years Eve and at the beginning add the word "stop."
I don`t always agree with everything I say. :)
is "insert clever remark here."
’Friday’ is my second favourite word starting from the letter `F`. :)
I hope I die alone. I mean, you`d have to be a pretty big jerk to hope others die with you.
“Get your panties in a bunch” would make a great slogan at Costco.
Stop saying I`m hard to shop for. Surely you know where the liquor store is
If you see me laughing like a crazy person, think nothing of it ..it`s just the voices in my head telling me jokes!
What idiot called it a contraction and not a birthquake?
Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer.
Whew, good thing there`s a facebook petition for ending the shutdown, or else we`d be in real trouble.
Well, I`ve officially entered the, "Why did I come into this room?" phase of my life.
LIFE HACK: Answer your phone "Hello you`re on the air" and 99% of the time people will just hang up
Sometimes I wonder if I could get away with murder, but then I remember I can’t even eat pancakes without getting syrup all over me.