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I like to sit outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say "You can see me?"
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza
It`s not so much blowing my diet as preventing the fudgesicles from developing freezer burn.
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I can walk up to any dog, rub its belly and make a friend ... That trick rarely works on people.
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
I will not let people drive me crazy because I know it`s in walking distance.
Well, I`m really not sure what my spirt animal is but I`m sure it looks like road kill right about now.
Ask me about my ability to annoy complete strangers.
Apparently, when people say "I could use a hand" it doesn`t mean they want to get slapped in the face.
I`ve been working with this alcohol free program for like six months and it`s really taken a toll on me ... I mean, I`m broke and as far as I`m concerned, they can buy their own alcohol.
When I order pizza online and there’s a “Notes” box I put “Ring bell, Cross moat, SLAY DRAGON”
Do me a favor if someone tells you they don`t like me , tell them I don`t like them either.
I am not real pumped up about the Super Bowl this year!
Life is about perspective like the sinking of the Titanic was a miracle for the lobsters in the ships kitchen