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OH NO !,,,,,,,,, I just realized I can`t stop calling the addiction hotline....
I love the people in parking lots with "free kittens" signs because I too feel that kittens shouldn`t be oppressed.
I didn’t give you the finger. You earned it.
so, on a scale of one is to seven, which letter of the alphebet is your favourite colour?
Normal people scare me ... But not as much as I scare them. :)
If you use the word "gay" to desrcribe something that is "merry or happy" then you`re gay.
You call it "Road Rage". I call it "Aggressively maneuvering around a$$holes that don`t know how to f*cking drive."
I think "Don`t Kid Yourself" would be a great brand name for birth control pills....
I`m only 30 lbs away from my New Year`s resolution to lose 20 lbs!!
Why isn`t there a roomba that cuts grass? Probably some stupid law about sending a blade wielding robot out into the neighborhood.
I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn`t for throwing at people who stress you out?
The great thing about snow is it makes your lawn look as good as your neighbors.
Between the coffee and the cocaine, it looks like the mission of Colombia is to wake up the world.
I don’t care what women say, size matters in bed. The bigger the bed the more room you have to move around.