Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A fun way to get exercise is grab a chainsaw and chase a hiker.
A friend of mine asked what it`s like to raise a small toddler so I coughed directly in his mouth
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig ? The letter F ?
Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid.
Try Zumba, It`s awesome ... on my way to the emergency room.
Pillow forts have no age limit when you’re awesome.
I took a sexual harassment course today, I think this is actually something I might be pretty good at
A magic eraser, but for my bar tab.
The great thing about snow is it makes your lawn look as good as your neighbors.
I`ve created a new gym to help with the child obesity problem. There is no building, I am just slowly driving around neighborhoods in an ice cream truck without ever stopping.
My doctor said I should eat better. I told him, with what he charges, I’m lucky I eat at all.
I hate it when I open Facebook and miss a week of work.
Cops are allowed to tell women they have the right to remain silent, but when I do it I wind up with a fork in my leg.
The easiest way to distract a woman is to show her a picture of herself.
I just hope people who say "Jesus is my co-pilot" realize he`s a 1st century carpenter with no time in a flight simulator.