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It hurts when you goto unfriend someone only to discover they beat you to it
"Lazy" is a strong word. I prefer to call it selective participation.
if the shoe fits wear it , if it too tight take it off
No one is ever bored enough to start studying.
Every time I see a preview for Hoarders, I grab the closest thing to me and immediately throw it away.
Dont judge a person by the color of their skin or by the content of their character but by the shape of their eyebrows
My body is made up of 90% water, 5% pizza and 5% wine.
Somebody told me I`m horrible with names.
mom- "if you dont have anything nice to say, don`t say anything"
I believe in equality. If we have a 5 day week of work, we should have 5 day weekends as well dammit.
If you pour two beers into one glass, it becomes just one beer.
If you’re that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
A 15 year old took gold in the Olympics and then there is me whose greatest accomplishment is getting up to 10 on flappy bird.
People that do stuff- what’s your secret?
If at first you don’t succeed, you shouldn’t diffuse bombs.