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Just drank a `coffee to go` while sitting. Screw the system!
The guy that thought of wrapping other food items in bacon deserves an award.
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do!
I think pet shops should give a free laser pointer with every Cat purchase.
My life has a great cast, but I can’t figure out the plot.
Is it wrong to drop off drunks at houses that aren`t theirs?
I havend`t heard from DAEMON MAILER in years, I hope he`s okay.
When I say lol, I don`t literally mean I laughed out loud. What I actually mean is that I made a loud outward breath through my nose, similar to a bull.
I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.
The pollen is so bad this year that the trailer park people are changing crystal meth back into Sudafed.
i got a dig bick..........how many read that wrong
When buying a flat screen tv, always remember to put the box in your neighbor’s trash so you don’t get robbed.
Yesterday my Supervisor asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don`t think you`re supposed call people that any more."
I hope my liquor store is having an after Christmas sale!!