Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The reason Rump Roast is called Rump Roast is because nobody would eat it if it was called Cow A$$
Talked to someone in person today....what a pain in the a$$ that was!
So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra.
I regret nothing but mostly because I can`t remember most of the stuff I should probably regret
I did 10 minutes of cardio this morning. I was still drunk from last night, and I was trying to tie my shoes but whatever.
I meant to make you a rum cake but somehow I made you a plain cake and now Iβm drunk.
Why is it called a "personal trainer", instead of an "exercist"?
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyoneβs ok with that.
I canΒ΄t wait for summer. One of my highlights of summer is talking into the fan to hear my robot voice.
Comment if you think I`m normal... Like this if you think I`m crazy... Copy this if you know your crazy too! And if your me... OMG TURKEY SQUIRREL! :)
I`ll be posting telepathically today.. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
Shout-out to nature for not giving wings to snakes
Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
I would never survive a real job because I dont like being told when I can eat lunch...
I wonder what my future wife is doing right now ... Hopefully modeling.