Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Finally figured out what women want...SECURITY!!!......(At least that`s what they all yell when I try to talk to them...)
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34C
I can`t believe the music that kids listen to now-a-days! What ever happened to wholesome music like "Push It" and "Me So Horny"?
"No! Don`t go into the church! Nooo!" ... "Honey, what movie are you watching?" ... "Our wedding video."
You might be a REDNECK if you think S.T.O.P. means spin tires on pavement!! :)) lol
If your boyfriend answers your text while playing GTA, he doesn`t love you. He just died on the game.
My wrinkles are all from laughter. Except those between my eyebrows. Those are my `WTF` lines and those things are deep.
Why be full of hate when you can be full of pizza?
If I knew how to backflip, I`d never walk anywhere.
Depression is wanting to lay down and realizing that you are already laying down.
There are plenty of fish in the sea ...That`s cool and all....but I`m a human.
I wonder if New York people find it weird to watch their own city being destroyed in Hollywood movies so many times..!!
Pink camouflage: I`m like, where you hiding? Candyland?
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Doing donuts in the parking lot sounds fun. Eating donuts in the parking lot sounds better.