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This is my Facebook status. There are many like it but this one is mine.
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
I`m sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew..
I could do so much more if I only had minions.
Don`t do it in the Garden, they say love is blind but ur neighbor ain`t.
I don`t normally poop with the door open, but I don`t want to miss the in flight movie
Just completed my sexual harassment training and I think I`m finally ready to start harassing people.
I think I bought just enough fireworks to get my neighbor to move.
If you`re not employed by the Secret Service, there is absolutely no reason to have a Bluetooth on your ear.
When I ask a girl I like why she and her ex broke up and she says "we just didn`t work out" I already know I have no chance since I hate working out
Every time my daughter drinks juice she says "cheers" so.... no, not looking forward to parent teacher conferences.
Ghetto Word of the Day: Window "Imma pay my baby mamma her child support. I just don’t know window".
All units be on the lookout, suspect is armed with hunky shoulders, soft eyes and dreamboat hair. I don`t even remember what he did anymore.
The point is... Is Imma hug you like a panda nd you`re gunna like it.!(: