Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hope these bad jokes distract you from the fact you`re getting screwed. - Car insurance commercials
If going to church has taught me anything, it is that Catholics hate unexpected pterodactyl impressions.
The lyrics for "hush little baby" are basically saying "I will buy you anything if you just shut the hell up"
What kind of jerk makes an anti-anxiety pill difficult to break in half?
If it`s really the thought that counts, we`re ALL screwed. LOL ;)
Remember, Christmas is over if you sit on a strangers lap now and ask for stuff it`s because you`re a whore.
It`s not really stalking if you don`t catch me doing it.
Sometimes not being in control is the most awesome feeling in the world.
Today`s society is a good example of what happens when you let the clowns run the circus.
The longest five seconds in anyone’s life is waiting to press the “Skip Ad” button on YouTube.
Going to the skate park to watch people fall.
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they´re going to be when you kill them.
You would think a popular place like the Krusty Krab would have more than two employees.
Love is like a Hot Pocket: If you rush into it, you`re bound to get burned
Whoever said "money doesn`t grow on trees" has obviously never sold weed.