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It takes a smoke detector 4 months to stop beeping if you were wondering how lazy I am.
I only accept apologies in cash.
Just finished my first book yesterday. 450 pages. Man, that was a lot of coloring...
If you can’t face it, moon it.
Well it`s about time I get in line for that Star Wars movie
Although the voices aren`t real, they have some pretty good ideas.
I don’t write children’s books because the last page would always say: "Now shut up and go to sleep."
Today I am thankful for my family....and this 5th of vodka that helps me deal with them.
Men wear the pants in the relationship but women control the zipper.
If you don’t like my sense of humor please tell me… so I can laugh at you!
Better late than pregnant.
Isn’t it funny how people that talk too much also have annoying voices?
gone fishing ¸.·´¯`·.¸><((((º>
Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.
Instead of LOL, try SALTS ( smiled a little, then stopped)