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I was fighting with this gal over who is lazier. I let her win.
When does hibernation start? Because I am 100% participating in that.
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number? ...hmm
You know you`re getting old when speed limits start to seem reasonable to you.
A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, unless that medicine is insulin.
Of course I`m using OJ as a mixer, it`s flu season.
I’m just SOOO busy. I spend 70% of my day telling people how busy I am and the other 30% trying to make myself look REALLY REALLY busy.
Every time the grocery baggers ask if I want help to my car, I feel like telling them yes and climbing in the cart.
Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.
I was born at a very early age.
No matter how fast you run, the serial killer always walks faster.
just want to point out that Cinderella is living proof that shoes can change your life!
FYI: I`m never gonna tell the person I`m meeting up with that you said hi.
I just don`t get life insurance. Why would I want to give my family a financial incentive to kill me?