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It`s kind of funny how so many people think that being gay is a choice but being fat isn`t
why would you go outside? that`s where bugs live
If I’ve learned anything in my twenty-two years on this earth, it’s that it’s okay to lie about your age.
Just been wondering what "please Do Not Touch" would be in Braille
Did you ever stop to think that maybe vodka is addicted to ME?
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn’t even be nominated.
I’m glad people can’t see how I have them saved in my phone. Contact names like, “Don’t Answer” and “Douchebag” and “Owes me $100".
Men think us women dream of finding the perfect man when really, all we want is to eat anything without getting fat.
Jesus, take the wheel. Carlos, you take the stereo & I`ll take lookout.
Karma means I can rest easy at night knowing all the people I treated badly had it coming.
Fun Fact: Valentine`s Day was created by a woman than didn`t get what she wanted for Christmas.
Most people are lucky they can’t hear what I’m thinking.
Keep it up and I`ll make sure u end up on a milk carton.
Wanna have a little fun? Post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!
If you catch a homeless couple having sex is it rude to tell them to "get a room"?