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One trenta cheeseburger please.
Snoring is just God`s way of ensuring women hate their husbands while they sleep too.
I drink my coffee out of a clear mug so people so where my tolerance level is at.
Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
Parents: Where are you going at this time of the night all dressed up like a slut? Daughter: To the bathroom, I need a new Facebook picture.
I`m not the type of person you should put on speaker phone
I`m surprised more killers haven`t lured their victims into their houses by blind folding them and promises of being on a febreze commercial
AOL has been hacked. Users have also been asked to check their Atari settings for possible compromise.
No PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on Facebook.
Iām not a biologist but Iām pretty sure the difference between a moth and a butterfly is that a moth is really ugly.
I will have you know I have FRIENDS! All 10 seasons.
I`m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
I found the key to happiness ... Stay away from a$$holes.
I never mix business with pleasure, ......unless i call an escort.
I can`t relate to people who "forget to eat"