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Ever check your Facebook early in the morning where you have to close one eye because the screen is too bright?
Breaking News: Tuesdays suck just as much as Mondays.
I`ll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers
my ex girlfriends started they`re own website they call it two faced book...
Don`t date guys from the internet. The last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison, he meant prison.
why does that idiot Charlie Sheen keep winning, and a good person like me keeps losing?
What`s the right age to stop running naked from the bedroom to the bathroom?
Ever wondered why there is a stairway to heaven, and a highway to hell? There´s apparently more traffic going to hell!!
The awkward moment when you set something down for a second and it disappears off the face of the earth.
Think you`re going crazy? When you get there, look for me and I`ll show you around.
Just tried to parallel park. 5 people are injured, 3 critical, 6 missing. The casualties continue to mount...
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry.
Thanks, autocorrect. I`m sure she`s dying to know about my huge peninsula.
The fact that this peanut butter jar states that it "Contains Peanuts" makes me extremely nervous for the human race.
Wait, whaddya mean... cookie dough can be baked? Seriously?