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When you have a lot, you have hair. When you only have a few, you have hairs.
Why do they ask you "Please press 1 for English, then put you with someone who`s accent is so thick you can`t understand them?
My face is a 4, my personality is a 6, so basically, I`m a 10.
Ways to get to my heart: 1) food ... that’s pretty much it
Key to a great marriage ... Lack of imagination.
Big shout-out to slugs! Those little guys are out there everyday, doing all the same stuff as snails but without helmets.
It takes patience to listen, it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
Have the people who designed wine glasses ever washed dishes in their lives?
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is “act natural, you’re innocent”.
... and so begins another failed hundred or so attempts at trying to write the correct year on anything I date.
I try to live each day like it`s my last, which is why I rarely have clean socks. Who wants to wash socks on the last day of their life?
Just think how cold and snowy it would be WITHOUT global warming!
To all my friends who sent me best wishes for 2013, for 2014 could you please send money, alcohol or petrol vouchers…Cheers!
Gluten free. Dairy free. Fat Free. I love the wine diet!
Just scraped 3 inches of "Mostly Cloudy" off my car.