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"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer
Life can be like Chess sometimes. I don`t know how to play Chess.
Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
If there is one-thing in this would i don`t like being thought is ... a lesson.
"Let`s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise" - sports fans
Be wary of someone who calls all their exes crazy. They`re probably the reason.
"Just Be yourself" is something I rarely hear from people who know me well.
Save your breath ... You`ll need it later to blow up your date.
I did not steal your drink. You abandoned it and I rescued it.
Kim and Kanye have been married WAY longer then I expected.
pharmacy was out of my BP meds...so i bought a baseball bat instead..that works much faster
Someone invited me to their dog`s birthday party on Saturday. What a freak! I am NOT coming to your dog`s birthday party! Besides, my cat is getting married that weekend!
Where is the button to restart summer?
Arm wrestling is DEFINITELY the manliest sport where Two dudes hold hands...
Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.