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Me: spends 12 hours comparing teams before completing NCAA bracket, loses $50. GF: Spends 5 minutes picking teams with "cute" mascot names, wins $1000.
It’s hard to get a lot done when you’re busy having a snack every 15 minutes
Insomnia causes questionable browser history.
Yeah he`s still bugging me...he thinks Harass is two words.
It`s amazing how many people are diagnosed with a disease as soon as there`s a pill available for it.
Have you ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you´ve had?
Australian kiss. It`s kind of like a French kiss, but down under.
I ran into a dwarfs car this morning and he come up to me and said "I`m not happy!" And I said we`ll which one are you then
I`d be super embarrassed if people saw my google history but only because its all words I should really know how to spell by now
Dear God, thank you for all the animals, and plants, and insects, but were spiders really necessary?
I will never admit to my parents that I don’t believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa as long as I still get presents and candy.
If my memory gets any worse I`ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
I saw a man at the beach screaming, "Help, shark, help!" I laughed because I knew the shark wasn`t going to help him.
Facebook: Cause why drunk dial one person when you can drunk post the world?
I find myself highly addicted to books as of late. Once I start coloring the first few pages I can`t stop....