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The sun isn`t the only thing that rises in the morning...if you know what I mean ;)
Common sense is like deodorant; those that need it most, don’t use it.
I neither like nor want to date Taylor Swift, but I know at some point it’ll just be my turn.
Sleeping is so difficult when you have a world awake in your phone.
How come know-it-alls don`t know how annoying they are?
Why do the 5 seconds I have to wait before I can "skip ad" last 30 seconds?
Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
To a musician, a g-string means something completely different than it does to me. .
I don`t care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I`m more annoyed that random woodland creatures won`t clean my house.
I just kicked a can in my driveway and somehow ended up with a goal against Brazil.
What an intoxicated Schwarzenegger might say to a police officer: "I`m an IDIOT you COP!"
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn`t come back, what you`ve lost is a normal pigeon.
I don’t let my friends do stupid things… ALONE!
Can I get likes for no reason?
Dear Cashier, you should stop giving me attitude and acting like you`re job is so complicated and stressful....Self-Checkout has proven that pretty much Anyone can do your job.