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So how long before GoFundMe is our nation`s leading health care provider?
Anyone else ever thought about farting into one of those plastic cylinders at the bank drive-thru?
Pizza will never tell you to apologize to your mother in law
I`d watch NASCAR if Hot Wheels designed the tracks.
Auctioneers are proof white guys could rap if they tried hard enough.
When she says she`s madly in love with you, concentrate more on the word madness.
Excuse me but which level of Hell is this?
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the heck are you doing?
I like how Sesame Street just casually has a vampire hanging around.
There`s a sucker born every minute, but swallowers are harder to find.
My relationship status? Last night, in the elevator, I told a girl she had nice shoelaces.
Studies show that people who want tribal tattoos are directly related to living under a rock
You think you love your family but suddenly there`s three of you and one remaining slice of pizza.
I just realized that Mr. Rogers had the first man-cave.
Card on top of gift reads `I want you wearing this tonight` only to open the gift to find NOTHING