Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
...and this right here son is called pornography, and it`s why they invented the internet.
I just burned 1200 calories ... I forgot the pizza in the oven again.
Rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off of the floor is another story.
Like medicine, some people should only be allowed to talk in doses. Like 30 sentences three times a day.
I`m pretty sure by now “lazy” is just part of my personality description.
"Trust your gut" is terrible advice. How can I put trust in something that tells me to eat an entire pizza when I get drunk?
I refuse to jump on the `I hate Mondays` bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally
I`m sorry, all I hear is your perfume
If I drop my food on a plane, and we change time zones at the same time, do I receive an additional hour to the 5 second rule?
How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?
You know you are the ugly one if they ask you to take the photo.
I have a PHD (Pretty Huge d*ck)
my neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning , can you believe that 2:30am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums...
Why is it called Boob Sweat and not Humiditties?
One time I exaggerated so hard that I died.