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It must be hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest. I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
Ok advertisers, for the last time. I’m playing a game I downloaded for free. So, the fact that you chose to advertise here means your product is grossly overpriced…
What if every time a song pops into your head, it’s really just your brain intercepting one of the bajillion radio signals bouncing around you?
There is no such thing as a stupid question, but there are such things as stupid people who ask questions.
My kids can be difficult sometimes, but my mom always assures me that I deserve it.
why do wise people never make wisecracks?
I was just chatting with my cat about how being lonely can make a person crazy.
What do you get when you inject human DNA into a goat? Apparently banned from the petting zoo...
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
Feeling bored? Post a status on Facebook that says "Barack Obama 2016" and buckle up for the ride of your life.
When I die, I want a cellphone in my coffin...just in case
I know I`ve had enough to drink when I have to concentrate to blink.
If you cry loudly enough, your boss will usually let you go home.
People with no money sure do have a lot of pot.
It must suck to be an air conditioner repairman. You spend your day working in buildings that have no air conditioning. When it`s fixed and finally cool, you leave.