Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Let`s sleep in until it`s time to go to bed again
I would watch tennis more often if they replaced the ball boys with untrained golden retrievers.
Don`t forget to get offended today by some retarded sh!t that has absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever.
Can we all just agree to start spelling it "Wensday"?
Hang out with different people everyday so the only person who knows you`ve been wearing the same outfit all week is you.
All I’ve ever wanted from life was to be a disturbance in the force.
Time is precious ... waste it wisely!
Sometimes, you wonder what the hell the music video has to do with the song.
“Dad, I’m hungry.” “Hi, Hungry. I’m Dad.” - Every time.
I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE
It’s amazing what I’m able to get done when I need to do something else.
Just remember, outside of that beautiful slim bride on her wedding day there’s a fat woman just waiting to get in.
I bet if you look up dictionary in the dictionary it says "don`t be an a$$hole"
I just thought you should know, I just did all the laundry and didn`t lose a sock to the dryer monster...
It`s not you, it`s me. I can`t stand you.