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When you called me a b*tch, did you mean it as an insult or a compliment?
Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
I am creating the first ever "flavored windows". They should make some of you very happy.
Whenever I check my weight, I always subtract 5 pounds. I don`t think that boobs and brains this fabulous should count against me.
If I truly posted what was on my mind ... I´d most likely be in a psychiatric hospital right now.
I look forward to paying off all my debt and finally getting back to just being broke.
I love how when your watching a crime show and they have to tell you that "this is a reenactment" oh really? you mean you didn`t actually catch the murder on video?
I wish pillsbury would think of another way to open biscuits without giving you a heart attack ;)
Hold that pose. My camera is ringing.
I`m glad I`m me, I don`t think anybody else could take it.
The most difficult part about taking a personality test is deciding which personality should take it.
Meanwhile one million men got to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home without anyone nagging them.
Autocorrect changed "you`re so wise" to "you`re so wide", and now I need to find a good hiding spot before my wife comes home.
Vodka can be mixed with anything, including more vodka.
Jingle bells johnny smells, amelia ruled the show, frankies okay, marcus is gay, little mix all the way.. HAY !!!