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Pick any number. Multiply it by two. Now add 12 to it. Divide it by 3. Now change it to 10. That`s how many seconds you just wasted.
If Google can`t find the answer, it`s not a question.
Let`s go to my place and do the things I`ll tell everyone we did anyway.
People assume I’m smart when they see my glasses case. Then they see that I use it to store a Snickers bar and they recognize my true genius.
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
I imagine a world where whining on Facebook is illegal.
We`re up to Fast n Furious #6. Shouldn`t they just create a weekly TV series?
Why do hospitals need to advertise? It`s not like I`m going to go to Home Depot instead.
Never compliment a woman on her sideburns ... no matter how magnificent they look.
Old is when you start thinking about the things you used to do more than the things you’re going to do.
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time...
Let`s drink till this day makes some sort of sense.
Are you really sorry or are you just Charlie Sheen sorry?
?"May contain nudity".. either it does or it doesn`t.. quit waistin` my time.
When a woman asks you for your opinion all she really wants to hear is her opinion repeated word for word but in your voice.