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Just for kicks I posted "I won the LOTTERY" on Facebook. One girl liked it, then replied to the inbox message I sent her in 2010. *Blocked*
It`s impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone.
Every now and then when I`m in a room alone I say out loud, "I know you`re listening". If I`m wrong, nobody knows. If I`m right, I just freaked the hell out of some guy.
There’s a very short list of things you can have in your hand while running without looking crazy.
If you can’t face it, moon it.
Raise the bar..? Like go and drink upstairs..?
* feels winds of change * realizes it`s just a hole in my shorts
Drunk people are the only honest ones left.
Christmas is just like a day at the office ... You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
This status could be yours for 3 easy payment of $8.99, get in quick because this offer won`t last for long, infact there are only 5 left.
Here’s your social security card. It’s paper & has to last you forever. Don’t laminate it. Good luck! -The Government
I had this awesome dream last night where Facebook went down and most of you went on a killing spree.
Relationship Tip for men: When a woman says, "Correct me if I`m wrong but...."Don`t do it!! It`s a trap!! DO NOT, I repeat, do not correct that woman!!!
Good friends do not let you do stupid things….. alone :)
LOSE WEIGHT FAST! Mix equal parts warm water, apple cider vinegar, & lemon juice toss that disgusting sh!t into a sink & get on a treadmill.