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One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
I keep trying to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance! ..By driving away and not leaving a note.
There should be an energy drink named 6 AM child
Mashed potatoes really beg the question: “what else could we massively improve by squashing the hell out of it?”
Your shadow is a confirmation that light has traveled nearly 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet thanks to you
Apparently, all those good looking people in the swimsuit catalogs go to a different beach than I do.
The phrase "Don`t take this the wrong way." has a zero percent success rate.
I’m not a schizophrenic… At least, that’s what all the voices tell me.
According to Debrah in HR, "Back up off my balls" is not the proper way to tell someone to wait for assistance.
One of my friends had a baby today, and another got a puppy. I think we all know which one I`m going to visit.
My body is by no means a temple but it can be one heck of a amusement park ride...
“Latte” is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.
A Shout Out to all the beautiful women who don`t need to dress half naked to get a man`s attention. Stay classy! The rest of you, come with me.
I bet if you asked a one-eyed person, they`d tell you it really WAS all fun and games up until that point.