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Easy baked macaroni and cheese recipe: Boil macaroni in water.... follow the rest of the instructions on box. TADA!
Beer and a 44 magnum with an everclear shot makes everything good like Nintendo
To whom it may concern: I need more money and power ... ASAP thanks!
3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier`s face: Priceless!
Apparently this Walmart cashier only brushes her favorite teeth.
Breaking News: I took a bath today
Never judge a girl`s boob size by their jacket.
If you go for a jog and you don`t post it on Facebook, have you really jogged?
Clapping: Repeatedly high-fiving yourself for someone else`s accomplishments.
If one teacher cannot teach every subject, then how come one student is expected to learn all the subjects.
Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Wait… Regular or Asian?
Parenting is no different than a bear attack. Curl up and play dead and they usually leave you alone.
Well, Thanks to SAMSUNG, flat screens are no longer `Flat`.
Depending on how you look at it, half of 8 could be 4, 3, or 0.
Boss: "Are you texting?" Me: "No, I`m Tweeting." Boss: "What`s the difference?" Me: "Texting would imply that I have friends."