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I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. ..Especially since I walked there. :)
If you watched a person cut a piece of wood, would that be sawed or seen?
Therapy helps ... but screaming obscenities is faster and cheaper!
Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.
Running away does not help with the problems unless you are fat
Some people see a glass as half empty. Some see a glass as half full. Most need to get a life & do something besides stare at glasses.
You could`ve told me that wasn`t your real name before I got the tattoo.
The hour that we lose this weekend is the one that I was planning on going to the gym.
Bacon...need I say more
My cat is wearing a cone & has learned to scoop up his food and let it slide into his mouth and it`s giving me serious ideas, folks
I could see how 2 deaf guys arguing would appear to be gang related.
If you see a girl or guy post pictures of their cat you know they`re single.
You bring the friendship, I`ll bring the benefits.
If you`re feeling bored, find a group photo of four girls on instagram and then comment "you three look great!" Wait and grab popcorn.
Several years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.