Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The real trouble with reality is that there´s no background music
It’s a humbling moment when you realize your dog or cat has actually trained you to do something.
"If you can`t handle me at my worst, then you don`t deserve me at my best" literally translates to "I`m a loud, sloppy drunk."
doesn`t mind that people start spreading rumors about me.. it’s when they spread the truth that I’m screwed ;)
If you ever need nothing I am here for you.
The most expensive part of having kids is all the booze I drink.
Relationship Status: eating
They say 1 in 3 people cheat in a relationship. I`m not sure if its my wife or my girlfriend.
I`m jealous of my parents, I`ll never have kids as cool as theirs.
We all make mistakes .... I just do it better than everyone else.
That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn`t get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn`t brushed her teeth in forever.
I hate spelling errors so much. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined....
To whoever said “fight fire with fire”: do you actually test your own advice before giving it?
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you were able to steal 12 of his hoodies.
Friends who buy you food are friends for life.