Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will only be jingling "part" of the way this year, as usual ur patience is appreciated.
Dear Friday, I`m ready !!!
I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime.
thinks whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never been to a nude beach!!
Tyler on Facebook says he ran 1.7 miles this morning… So based on calculations, I have 35 minutes to ransack his house tomorrow morning.
The hardest part about being humble is not telling people how much better I am than they are.
Ladies: if you argue with your man naked, you will win every single time.
Not to interrupt your story, but do you have a completely different and possibly shorter story?
My neighbor`s facebook movie is just a montage of me caught on surveillance video, stealing his newspaper every morning.
Maybe if I tilt my head to the side I can understand English – dogs
If a group of midgets performed the YMCA song, it is to be considered that they did it in lowercase?
*during sex,I suddenly stop moving* Her: What are you doing? Me: SHHHHH It`s ok...I saw this on Pornhub, It`s called Buffering!
Shouting "Shotgun" will get you the front seat of a car or a heap of cash if you whisper it to a cashier.
A hypnotist is just someone that tries to roofie you with jazz hands.
Last night I got so drunk I blacked out for two hours, but then I realized I’d just put my hoodie on backwards