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Wouldn’t it be great to hear a priest say “been there, done that” in reply to your confessed sins?
Porn is so unrealistic. There`s no way a guy with a ponytail could have a house that nice.
I love how in movies when someone types a really embarrassing secret they always accidentally send it to the whole school, and they also coincidentally have the phone number of everyone.
Find a penny pick it up and all day long you`ll have good luck. Or some kind of virus because pennies are dirty and gross.
Why do people ask “What the hell were you thinking?” Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain it.
I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on your bus do not go round & round.
I`ve learned more from one season of "Shark tank", than I ever learned in four years of buisness school.
I don’t appreciate the 5 minute radio ads about how commercial-free the station is.
Think about how much more stressful life’s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
You know it`s time to delete Facebook when your mom, dad, uncles, aunties, grandparents etc... is on it.
A girl drinks 4 cosmos over a span of 60 minutes. 25 mins later, she texts 3 of her besties. How many emojis will she use? Show your work.
If cartoons can wear the same clothes everyday then so can I, dammit!
My “I hate you” face must look a lot like my “I’m loving this conversation” face.
School was so much easier when 2 plus 2 equaled 4 instead of "X." Whoever decided to involve the alphabet in math deserves a solid punch to the face.