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Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn
Had a blast doing my Black Friday tradition!!!! I slept!
Saying "I`m offended" is basically telling the world you can`t control your own emotions so everyone else should do it for you.
Just because I`m awake doesn`t mean I`m ready to do things
Don’t look unless you’re prepared to see.
Sweetie, if your gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty!
* feels winds of change * realizes it`s just a hole in my shorts
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out a$$.
I don`t mind my long commute, I just hate that it always brings me to work.
I`ve never said "in all seriousness" and actually meant it.
Would people still go to the gym if Instagram didn`t exist?
I`m paying my taxes with a smile, but they wrote me back saying they want cash.
Is it yoga if you wear sweatpants all day and then hunch over the garbage can as you eat a burrito?
Letting my dad play Angry Birds on my iPad is like showing a caveman fire.
I`ll never join one of those dating sites. I prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way. By alcohol & bad decisions.