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I just saved a ton of $ on Christmas presents by discussing politics on FB.
I always wince when someone tells me they’re going to hit the sack.
is having one of those days where they feels like lighting someones face on fire and then trying to put it out with a fork
Neighbor said hi again. I`m just gonna move
I wouldn`t pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands.
If anybody out there happens to have my voodoo doll, can u please scratch my balls. I happe to be in a public place at the moment.
I need a six month vacation Twice a year.
Its all fun and games until someone drinks the beer with the cigarette butts in it..
Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest.
Notice how writers don’t rewrite books, how about we stop remaking movies.
If I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you. Knees to Chest, bitch, KNEES TO CHEST!!
Of all the people who "claim" not to give a sh!t, I`m pretty sure the guy standing barefoot in front of the urinal at the gym is the winner.
Sometimes I send status updates from my phone so it looks like I left the house.
I don`t want it to seem like I`m trying to get rid of you, but GO AWAY!!
I bet the women who only post about sex are probably some of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in person.