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I have a feeling I already know which direction my "Get rich or die trying" lifestyle is headed.
What is it about paper towels that makes me always want to use more than one?
Sorry I wasn’t ignoring you I was just watching 7 seasons and 54 episodes of this new show I found.
Some people should use a glue stick instead of a chap stick.
I think the guy who invented the word kumquats should have gotten to name more stuff!
If you were home alone in the middle of the night, and you heard a fart, would you laugh or be scared.
My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on.
Life is Hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.
Crazy people are never aware of their own insanity. I’m so glad I’m not a crazy person.
May your Labor Day contain no Labor!
In a new study women with large a$$es live longer………the men who tell them live distinctively shorter lives.
About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach.
PokΓ©mon means a totally different thing if you`re stuck in prison.
I`d engage you in a battle of wits, but I`m afraid you`re unarmed.
I always found it a little counter productive when the teacher would say "Don`t get smart with me!"