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My driver`s side window stopped working,,,, So yeah,, I`m probably gonna starve to death..
Door bells should be made illegal in commercials. Pet owners know what I’m talking about.
I`m sticking to my guns ... I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
If Candy Crush had a face, I`d punch it.
I dont want to sound like a badass or anything but I play Wii without the wrist strap on....
Summer is almost over...All you half-naked people are gonna need to find a personality.
When a woman asks you to guess her age, it`s like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb.
Found out the name of my neighbor`s cat. In other news, I now have free internet.
I was at the pool today and tried to sneak a quick pee in the deep end. The lifeguard must have seen me. He blew his whistle so loud that I almost fell in.
The closest I`ve come to camping was that one time when I fell asleep in the bushes outside your window with my camera.
Noise cancelling toilets should be a thing.
I want to grow old and disgusting with you.
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
ever wonder if one day somebody will come knocking on your door and say “Hey we have 7 mutual friends on Facebook, can I come in?"
I play hard to get along with.