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Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman`s ability to find a reason to post a selfie.
Jealously is something you’re good at when you suck at everything else.
"It`s not a pyramid scheme" is a phrase almost exclusively used by people involved in pyramid schemes
I just found handcuffs, a whip and a mask in my girlfriend’s bedroom. I can’t believe she’s a super hero.
Caterpillars have the ideal life. They eat a lot and then sleep for a while and wake up beautiful.
It`s like my golf instructor thinks I`m mature enough to handle him talking about balls, and how to properly grip the club.
never judges a book by its cover. I use the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
One does not simply log out of their friend`s facebook account without making them gay.
I took up the game of Golf recently. . .but I had too much trouble getting through that windmill.
I never thought I’d be the kind of person who’d wake up early in the morning to exercise... and I was right.
Have you ever just sat there and realized how weird you are?
I ordered a pizza when my wife went into labor. Thad ad said, "buy a pizza, and get free delivery.
Of all the possible utensils that could have been invented to eat rice with... How did 2 sticks win out!?
I don`t fear death... It happens to everyone. I just hope when I am dead and buried, I don`t vote Democrat.
24 astronauts were born in Ohio.....What is it about that state that makes people want to flee the Earth?